Molly and I had a frustrating day yesterday. I took off the afternoon for a couple of contractors coming over for furnace maintenance and sprinkler shutdown. I knew from previous experiences that she doesn't do well with visitors to the house, but had somehow talked myself into believing that she was more comfortable now, and she is doing so well overall, that it would be better this time.
Last weekend I ever took her to a friend's house for a social event and she was a perfect angel. No barking at all other than when she got riled up a bit playing and she was even pretty social and let people pet her and talk to her. I had been really worried about how she might react to visiting another house since when I had brought her to a friend's backyard movie night a few months ago she barked just as badly and she did for visitors in her own house. I thought the success of last weekend was a sign we were really turning a corner.
Then yesterday happened.....
The first visitor was the furnace repair guy. She barked loudly and frantically when he first arrived, but settled down a bit when I picked her up and by the time he left she was generally pretty calm, although she did bark whenever he moved. That's pretty consistent with how she reacts to most visitors and was a disappointment but not a surprise.
I actually tried giving her some Rescue Remedy, which I haven't tried before, but I've seen highly recommended. I can't say that it really helped, although I might try it again for only 'sort of scary' events to see if it takes the edge off things for her there. The good news is she didn't have any bad reactions, which I was a little nervous about.
Then a few hours later the second contractor arrived. This time she barked, kept barking, and when I set her down actually aggressively approached him (rather than barking from a safe distance ). This was a HUGE step back and the aggression really makes me nervous that I'm just making things worse. It's hard to say what really caused it....was it the two guests in one day, was she just having an off day, is she really truly getting worse, was it just this particular guy? He's a very nice guy I've had do work in the past but not a 'dog person' which does somehow seem to factor into how comfortable she is with a new person. The earlier furnace repairman was talking about his own dog and seemed more at ease around her. At any rate, it was embarrassing and I felt bad both for him and for her. Really very disheartening all around. He is coming back next week to do Fall leaf removal and I've already booked her for doggie daycare, even though he would be outside while she was kept inside. I just don't want to risk the stress. In this situation it's just very unclear to me where the acceptable line is between desensitization and trauma.
It's so easy for me to think in this situation that either she is being deliberately difficult or I am doing something wrong. It's important to remember that this is a stressful situation for her and we are both doing the best that we can given our own limitations. And also, that things can and will get better. Maybe she won't be the type of dog that runs joyfully to houseguests, but there is not reason to believe she won't eventually be able to tolerate them. It helps a lot to remind myself that she used to bark like this at EVERYTHING. We couldn't even walk down the street, but now her daily walks are easy with only a few mild corrections and/or distractions needed in particularly stressful moment. The visitor problem is just so much more difficult because the opportunity to 'practice' is much more limited. I have tried having groups of friends come over for staged socialization events but it's hard to say if that is helping or hurting, and repeatedly driving an hour out of their way to be barked at is asking a lot of even the kindest friend.
So, what am I going to do about it?
Training....
We have our first in-home training session this coming Sunday. I'm hopeful that will result in some useful tips, although I am a little worried Molly may not have the same reaction as the contractors since she has met the trainer before during some drop-in classes we have attended, and the trainer is also a woman. Men seem to be on average harder for Molly, although not exclusively. There are still plenty of men she loves and women she doesn't care for. I think the 'dog person' thing is a larger factor, which is another strike against the trainer getting an accurate feel for her behavior. But, I'm still cautiously optimistic she can help out. If not, maybe we will have to try another trainer.And More Training...
I also registered her for formal group training classes. We've done a few drop-in classes and I've been skeptical of the benefits of that type of a setup. I've been trying to find a more structured class with the same participants, and set learning objectives, since I think with new dogs every week and changing goals it's just not as effective for us to do the drop-in thing. I've finally succeeded in finding a spot in a class starting on October 31st, so I'm hopeful working on her overall manners will help out with the problems at home also.Continue with the Socialization...
I've been spending a lot of time trying to introduce Molly to varied situations and people outside of her home and will continue to do that. Not knowing her history I'm not sure how much of this she got in her formative puppy time (but I'm guessing not a lot) and it is very important. We've been going to outdoor patios, festivals and events, and had our first dog park visit last week. She also gets time learning to cope without me around at doggie daycare and with the dog walker. All of this work may not be directly applicable to the home visitor problem, but it goes towards increasing her confidence, which should indirectly help.And Time....
Finally, I am hoping that time will be my biggest ally. I do feel that she is still getting comfortable in her new environment, so there is reason to believe that things will continue to get better. I just need to be patient, which is not my greatest strength.Does anyone out there have additional tips, or stories of success and encouragement? I could really stand to hear them about now!
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